If you’re ever pulled over for speeding (or any other reason really), you probably shouldn’t say any of the following to the officer standing at your window…:
1)I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer.
2)Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
3)Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, so long as one of us does.
4)Gee, Officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
5)I was trying to keep up with traffic. I know there are no other cars around. That’s how far ahead of me they are.
6)Hey pal, I pay your salary!
7)Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
8)Hey, you must’ve been doing’ about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
9)You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?
10)When the Officer says:
-“Gee Son….Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?”
You probably shouldn’t respond with,
-“Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?”

Have a nice day

KK

"" Bloody Mary " : She lived deep in the forest in a tiny cottage and sold herbal remedies for a living. Folks living in the town nearby called her Bloody Mary, and said she was a witch. None dared cross the old crone for fear that their cows would go dry, their food-stores rot away before winter, their children take sick of fever, or any number of terrible things that an angry witch could do to her neighbors.
Then the little girls in the village began to disappear, one by one. No one could find out where they had gone. Grief-stricken families searched the woods, the local buildings, and all the houses and barns, but there was no sign of the missing girls. A few brave souls even went to Bloody Mary's home in the woods to see if the witch had taken the girls, but she denied any knowledge of the disappearances. Still, it was noted that her haggard appearance had changed. She looked younger, more attractive. The neighbors were suspicious, but they could find no proof that the witch had taken their young ones.

Then came the night when the daughter of the miller rose from her bed and walked outside, following an enchanted sound no one else could hear. The miller's wife had a toothache and was sitting up in the kitchen treating the tooth with an herbal remedy when her daughter left the house. She screamed for her husband and followed the girl out of the door. The miller came running in his nightshirt. Together, they tried to restrain the girl, but she kept breaking away from them and heading out of town.
The desperate cries of the miller and his wife woke the neighbors. They came to assist the frantic couple. Suddenly, a sharp-eyed farmer gave a shout and pointed towards a strange light at the edge of the woods. A few townsmen followed him out into the field and saw Bloody Mary standing beside a large oak tree, holding a magic wand that was pointed towards the miller's house. She was glowing with an unearthly light as she set her evil spell upon the miller's daughter.

The townsmen grabbed their guns and their pitchforks and ran toward the witch. When she heard the commotion, Bloody Mary broke off her spell and fled back into the woods. The far-sighted farmer had loaded his gun with silver bullets in case the witch ever came after his daughter. Now he took aim and shot at her. The bullet hit Bloody Mary in the hip and she fell to the ground. The angry townsmen leapt upon her and carried her back into the field, where they built a huge bonfire and burned her at the stake.
As she burned, Bloody Mary screamed a curse at the villagers. If anyone mentioned her name aloud before a mirror, she would send her spirit to revenge herself upon them for her terrible death. When she was dead, the villagers went to the house in the wood and found the unmarked graves of the little girls the evil witch had murdered. She had used their blood to make her young again.

From that day to this, anyone foolish enough to chant Bloody Mary's name three times before a darkened mirror will summon the vengeful spirit of the witch. It is said that she will tear their bodies to pieces and rip their souls from their mutilated bodies. The souls of these unfortunate ones will burn in torment as Bloody Mary once was burned, and they will be trapped forever in the mirror.
-by
S. E. Schlosser

-Well, I know this one is a well-known in USA, and people really believe on it, if it's true or not i dunno but i am sure that i am not going to say her name 3 times near a mirror, no way!
LOL lets enjoy our Saturday, time for lunch YUMY

KK

Is your mouse calibrated? If you’re not sure, then it’s probably not. You should do this every few weeks to ensure your getting the most performance and smoothest operation possible, especially if you spend alot of time on the computer.
Being somewhat of a tech-guy, I was shocked that this actually works. To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the “W” below. Then drag the “W” towards “G”. If it doesn’t work, you may need to clean your mouse.

W...(..HAT A DUMBA*S…)
( YOU’LL BELIEVE ANYTHIN..)...G

Hahahahaha, i wans't expecting this end!
Have FUN

KK

HAHAHAHAHA, this must be the kind of thought my dog Elvis has when in this situation


Click on the image to enlarge it and have fun

KK

"In the garden of Eden walked Adam,
alone and a trifle forlorn.
For he hadn't a miss or a madam,
and he whimpered every morn.

"What's the matter with you?" said Jehovah
"I've given you Eden you know,
and now that you've looked the place over,
I thought you'd be rarin' to go."

"That's all very well, " muttered Adam.
"but there isn't a soul except me,
and talking out loud is a tad 'um -
eccentric, don't you see?"

So the Lord God thought for a second.
Then he said, "Okay, just for you,
I'll make up a mate, for I reckon
that will give you something to do."

Now Adam was really excited,
and asked what this mate would do,
and as God explained, he was delighted,
at the promise of somebody new.

For his new mate was planned to get dinner,
and to cook and to sew up his clothes,|
She would make sure he didn't get thinner
and wash up as well I suppose.

She would bear him some fine sons and daughters,
and never wake him in the night
would take care of the beasts for the slaughter,
and never talk back in a fight.

She would love him with passion unceasing,
and never complain of an ache,
she would iron his shirts, never creasing
the cuffs, as she baked him a cake.

She would be such a model of virtue
that Adam could never complain,
and God said, "She never will hurt you,
or cause you one second of pain."

"Oh God," said our Adam, ecstatic
"what shall I call this wondrous mate,
and what will she cost, I'm emphatic
I must have the best going rate."

"This woman," said God, "that I bring you
is Eve, the mother of all,
The woman that your kids will cling to,
and the one that will come to your call.

"As for what she will cost, she's a jewel,
and a bargain at this special price,
for to you I couldn't be cruel,
and I know you will heed my advice.

"To you, as my special creation,
I offer you this generous rate -
just an arm and a leg your donation.
You couldn't do better, hey mate?"

Quite taken aback, Adam pondered,
then said with a bit of a grin.
"Well what would I get, I just wondered,
if a rib instead I threw in."

The rest of the tale is just history,
for they closed that deal right away,
so it's why we girls are a mystery
to every bloke even today.

Don't blame it on us, Mister Adam,
when you were the cheapskate in Eden.
For every missus and madam
is still trying today to get even."

-Copyright; Patricia Markey


KK

And have a great day
xx
KK
PS:Click on the image to enlarge it