1."Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
Douglas Adams.

2."The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
Rita Mae Brown.

3."If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
George Gobol.

4."I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
WC Fields.

5."There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all."
Robert Orben.

6."We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police."
Jeff Marder. :P

7."If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
Dick Cavett.

8."I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
Dave Edison.

-:b
kk

1."The Middle Eastern states aren't nations, they're quarrels with borders."
PJ O'Rouke.
2."Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!"
Steve Martin.
3."On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'."
Paul Merton.
4."In an underdeveloped country don't drink the water. In a developed country don't breathe the air."
Jonathan Raban.
5."I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
Dan Quayle.
6."They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood."
Bob Hope.
7."Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there."
Yakov Smirnoff.
8."Of course America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up."
Oscar Wilde.

-
Kk

.I met a man who had been married for 66 years. "Amazing. 66 years!" I said. "What's the secret to such a long, happy marriage?"
-"Well," he replied, "It's like this. The man makes all the big decisions... and the woman just makes the little decisions."
-"Really?" I responded. "Does that really work?"
-"Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big
decision!"

Kk