.The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices an unusally fancy phone on a side table in the Pope's private chambers. "What is that phone for?" he asks the pontiff.
-"It's my direct line to the Lord." The Rabbi is skeptical, and the Pope notices. The Holy Father insists the Rabbi try it out, and, indeed, he is connected to the Lord. The Rabbi holds a lengthy discussion with Him.
-After hanging up the Rabbi says, "Thank you very much. This is great! But listen, I want to pay for my phone charges." The Pope, of course, refuses, but the Rabbi is steadfast and finally, the pontiff gives in.
-He checks the counter on the phone and says, "All right! The charges were 100,000 Lira" ($56). The Chief Rabbi gladly hands over the payment.
A few months later, the Pope is in Jerusalem on an official visit. In The the Chief Rabbi's chambers, he sees a phone identical to his and learns it is also is a direct line to the Lord. The Pope remembers he has an urgent matter that requires divine consultation and asks if he can use the Rabbi's phone. The Rabbi gladly agrees, hands him the phone, and the Pope chats away.
After hanging up, the Pope offers to pay for the phone charges. Of course, the Chief Rabbi refuses to accept payment. After the Pope insists, the Rabbi relents and looks on the phone counter.Shekel 50" ($0.42).
-The Pope looks surprised, "Why so cheap?"
-The Rabbi smiles, "Local call."

KK

1.If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..."

2.If you ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

3.Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

4.You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
Wookiees are offended by your B.O.

5.You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

6.You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

7.You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up.

8.You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

9.You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

10.Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

KK

.A store owner was tacking a sign above his door that read " Puppies For Sale". Signs like that have a way of attracting small children, and sure enough, a little boy appeared under the store owner's sign.
-"How much are you going to sell the puppies for?" he asked.
-The store owner replied, " Anywhere from $30 to $50."
-The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out some change. "I have $2.37," he said. "Can I please look at them?"
The store owner smiled and whistled and out of the kennel came Lady, who ran down the aisle of his store followed by five teeny, tiny balls of fur. One puppy was lagging considerably behind. Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy and said,
-"What's wrong with that little dog?"
The store owner explained that the veterinarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered it didn't have a hip socket. It would always limp. It would always be lame. The little boy became excited.
-"That is the little puppy that I want to buy."
-The store owner said, "No, you don't want to buy that little dog. If you reallly want him, I'll give him to you."
-The little boy got quite upset. He looked straight into the store owner's eyes, pointing his finger, and said, "I don't want you to give him to me. That little dog is worth every bit as much as all the other dogs and I'll pay full price. In fact, I'll give you $2.37 now, and 50 cents a month until I have him paid for."
-The store owner countered, "You really don't want to buy this little dog. He is never going to be able to run and jump and play with you like the other puppies."
To this, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the store owner and softly replied,
-"Well, I don't run so well myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands!"

- Beautiful story isn't it?
KK