BULLFIGHT :

FARMYARD JOKES:

1.What do you give a sick pig ?
Oinkment !

2.What do cows like to dance to ?
Any kind of moosic you like !

3.What kind of bird lays electric eggs ?
A battery hen !

4.Where do milkshakes come from ?
Excited cows !

5.Why does a rooster watch TV ?
For hentertainment !

6.Why did the ram fall over the cliff ?
He didn't see theewe turn !

7.What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle ?
Use a cowculator !

8.Why did the farmer call his pig 'Ink' ?
Because he kept running out of the pen !

9.What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ?
A horse !

10.What do you call a pig with no clothes on ?
Streaky bacon !

11.What is the definition of a goose ?
An animal that grows down as it grows up !

12.Why is it called a 'herd' of cattle ?
Well, have you 'herd' the sound they make !

13.What did the lovesick bull say to the cow ?
'When I fall in love it will be for heifer' !

."The Buddha (is that one or multiple, theologically?)
sits at his total ease in our back garden
such as it is
in his plastic only partially disguised
pool, with today a white ranunculus
floating at his feet

he’s externally nicely moulded of fine concrete
and since the fig tree with its leaves
big enough to make yourself an apron of
though you’d need apronstrings, –
has been cut down, he’s emerged
from the shadow of it which made him
unpleasantly greeny-mouldy; but now the sunlight
has dried him into a light and Springy green
which is almost fluorescent and sorta floaty

he gives interest to the garden, makes a space
of his own and also makes the garden
shapely, a focal point or some such
decorator term. He seems very happy there
-perhaps anywhere; he certainly makes me happy
to see him; he wipes thought away.

It would be poetic to say that
he was already contemplating all peacefully
when dawn broke this day of solemn days,
the Good or Bad Friday depending;
but then he seems not to worry about time anyway
under his demure, downcast eyelids

but he’s so there he’s here, and was and is,
no mere garden ornament and whatever
he sees inside, it’s there in me too
as Emerson said of this sweet contemplation

what he makes of the events of this day
is certainly a question – just suppose he’d been there
discreetly in the crowd, saying nothing, just
contemplating the scene;
and the roving cameraman spotted him
and asked for a quote

big answers deserve big questions;
maybe this half-formed question
deserves more contemplation.
I’ll just shut up and go look at him again

as the evening light reflected from
the windows of the house opposite
bathes him in an intense sunset burst of glory
with no apparent source so that he
glows with a radiant promise of peace forever
to all men; a promise as Christ’s prayer-book
puts it so memorably –
past all understanding."

-Michael Shepherd

With a Big Smile and no tears i want to dedicate this poem to all who have been such great GOOD friends of mine during all this time in this lovely blogland kiki

.A businessman was in Japan to make a presentation to the Toyota motor people. Needless to say, this was an especially important deal and it was imperative that he make the best possible impression. On the morning of the presentation he awoke to find himself uncontrollably passing gas in large volumes. Additionally, the flatulence had the unpleasant characteristic of sounding like "HONDA." The man was besides himself. Every few minutes "HONDA", "HONDA".... What would the Toyota people think?

Unable to stop this aberrant behavior, and in desperate need to terminate these odious and rather embarrassing emissions, he sought a physician's aid. After a full examination, the doctor told him that there was nothing inherently wrong with him and that he would just have to wait it out. Being unwilling to accept this state of affairs he visited a second and then a third doctor all of whom told him the same thing. Finally one medic suggested that he visit a dentist. Well, although he could not see how a dentist was going to be of any help, he visited one anyway.

Lo and behold, the dentist said, "Ah, there's the problem."

"What is it?" the man asked.

"Why you have an abscess," said the dentist.

"An abscess. How could that be causing my problem?" asked the man.

"That's easy," replied the dentist. "Everyone knows, abscess makes the fart go Honda."