.One day three monks were told by the minister that today was their day off, to do whatever they want, and at the end of the day, god would forgive them of their sins.

The monks thought this sounded like a good idea so they went off into the city.

At the end of the day the three monks returned to the church and the minister greeted them.

The first monk came up, and the minister asked, "What did you do today". The monk replied "I robbed an off-license."

"Good" the minister replied. "Go and drink from the holy water".

The second monk came up and the minister asked the same question. "I vandalised a primary school" he answered.

"Good" the minister replied. "Go and drink from the holy water".

The third monk stepped up and the minister repeated "and what did you do today". "I pissed in the holy water", came the reply.

1.Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".

2.What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no

3.Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"

1)Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!

2)Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Is that you mommy?"

3)Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

4)Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?
A. They take the psycho path.

5)Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.

6)Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.

7)Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll

8)Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In snow banks.

9)Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch dog.

10)Q. Why did the tomato turn red?
A. It saw the salad dressing!

11)Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
A. Dam!

12)Q. What did the spider do on the computer?
A. Made a website!

kk