.Famous interpretations of "Why did the Chicken cross the road?"

1.Bill Clinton:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please...

2.L.A Poliece Department:
Give us five minutes with the chicken, and we'll find out.

3.Jerry Falwell:
Because the chicken was gay! isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. thats what "they" call it: the "other side". Yes, my friends the chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too!

4.Ronald Regan:
What Chicken?

5.Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it!

6.ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road? Is that what you're telling me?

7.Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

8.Marting Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens, be they black or white or brown or red or speckled, will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

9.Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

10.Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

11.Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

12.Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

13.Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it's true?

14.Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother?

15.Bill Gates: We have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg format), file your important documents, and balance your chequebook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

16.The CIA: Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into the car, sir.

17.Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken.
Hilarious kiki

"On this particular afternoon a fly fell into my tea. This was, of course, a minor occurrence. After a year in India I considered myself to be unperturbed by insects -- by ants in the sugar bin, spiders in the cupboard, and even scorpions in my shoes in the morning. Still, as I lifted my cup, I must have registered, by my facial expression, or a small grunt, the presence of the fly. Choegyal Rinpoche, the eighteen-year-old tulku leaned forward in sympathy and consternation.

"What is the matter?"

"Oh, nothing," I said. "It's nothing -- just a fly in my tea." I laughed lightly to convey my acceptance and composure. I did not want him to suppose that mere insects were a problem for me; after all, I was a seaseoned India-wallah, relatively free of Western phobias and attachments to modern sanitation.

Choegyal crooned softly, in apparent commiseration with my plight, "Oh, oh, a fly in the tea."

"It's no problem," I reiterated, smiling at him reassuringly. But he continued to focus great concern on my cup. Rising from his chair, he leaned over and inserted his finger into my tea. With great care he lifted out the offending fly -- and then exited from the room. The conversation at the table resumed. I was eager to secure Khamtul Rinpoche's agreement on plans to secure the high-altitude wool he desired for the carpet production.

When Choegyal Rinpoche reentered the cottage he was beaming. "He is going to be all right," he told me quietly. He explained how he had placed the fly on the leaf of a branch of a bush by the door, where his wings could dry. And the fly was still alive, because he began fanning his wings, and we cold confidently expect him to take flight soon...

That is what I remember of that afternoon -- not the agreements we reached or plans we devised, but Choegyal's report that the fly would live. And I recall, too, the laughter in my heart. I could not, truth to tell, share Choegyal's dimensions of compassion, but the pleasure in his face revealed how much I was missing by not extending my self-concern to all beings, even to flies. Yet the very notion that it was possible gave me boundless delight."

sunny days to u all,kk

1)Man Utd jokes - Sir Alex Ferguson manages the richest club in the world. As the Envy of many, they and the man u fans seem to get joked about alot. Play at Old Trafford.

2)Celtic jokes - Scottish club with Irish heritage. Fans known as Tims, play at Paradise or Parkhead. Bitter Rivalry with Rangers supporters. Celtic in the past known for biscuit tin mentality.

3)Rangers jokes - Old firm fans get a lot of jokes made about them. Gers fans are known as Bears or Huns - the club plays at Ibrox.

4)David Beckham jokes - World's most famous footballer. Marketing man's dreams. Married to Posh Spice Victoria. Joke writers dream. Has Kids called Brooklyn and Romeo Beckham.

5)Liverpool jokes - Scowser ( Liverpudlian ) fans known for their cheeriness. They play at Anfield, famous for the Kop, singing 'you'll never walk alone'. Have won a lot of Uefa trophies.

6)Chelsea jokes - An English club with a string of foreign coaches that flatters to deceive. Made up nowadays of many foreigners, their fans are somewhat feared. Play at Stamford Bridge.

7)Arsenal jokes - The gunners play at highbury in London. French manager, rarely win away in Europe.

8)Newcastle jokes - Toon fans from North known for their drinking and wacky humor. Gazza was a gordie. Sir Bobby Robson manages them. Not known for winning much...

9).Q: Why do Wimbledon fans carry lighters round with them?
A: Because they lose all their matches!

from a Benfica's fan: kiki