.Jiun, a Shogun master, was a well-known Sanskrit scholar of the Tokugawa era. When he was young he used to deliver lectures to his brother students.

His mother heard about this and wrote him a letter.:

"Son, I do not think you became a devotee of the Buddha because you desired to turn into a walking dictionary for others. There is no end to information and commentation, glory and honor. I wish you would stop this lecture business. Shut yourself up in a little temple in a remote part of the mountain. Devote your time to meditation and in this way attain true realization." kk

.A pirate steps into a pub for a drink...

Bartender: "Where did ya get that peg leg from?"

Pirate: "We were sailing the seas when a big old shark came up to me while I was swimmin' and he bit off me leg."

Bartender: "Where did you get that hook then?"

Pirate: "Well, me crew and I were in a battle and it got cut through the bone."

Bartender: "Then where did ya get the eye patch from?"

Pirate: "In a harbor I looked at a gull flying over head and it took a dump right in me eye."

Bartender: "How would that make you get an eye patch?"

Pirate: "First day with the hook..." KK