.A lady is walking down the street to work and sees a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird.
The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store and have the bird killed.
The store manager apologized profusely and promised the bird wouldn't say it again.
The next day, when the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused, scowled with an icy and deadly stare, and said with a hoarse voice, "Yes?" The bird, strutting back and forth on its perch in a cocky manner, said, "You know." hugsssssssss,kk

"The Real Miracle"

When Bankei was preaching at Ryumon temple, a Shinshu priest, who believed in salvation through repetition of the name of the Buddha of Love, was jealous of his large audience and wanted to debate with him.
Bankei was in the midst of a talk when the priest appeared, but the fellow made such a disturbance that Bankei stopped his discourse and asked about the noise.
"The founder of our sect," boasted the priest, "had such miraculous powers that he held a brush in his hand on one bank of the river, his attendant held up a paper on the other bank, and the teacher wrote the holy name of Amida through the air. Can you do such a wonderful thing?"
Bankei replied lightly: "Perhaps your fox can perform that trick, but that is not the manner of Zen. My miracle is that when I feel hungry I eat, and when I feel thirsty I drink."
Hugs,kiki

.This guy is in a plane when he feels thirsty. So he calls for the stewardess and asks her politely for a Large Whiskey.
.There's a parrot in the seat next to him, who snaps, "A double Scotch and make it quick." "Yes, sir" the stewardess says, and quickly gets the bird his drink - but ignores the guy. The parrot downs his in one gulp, and says "gimme another."
.The stewardess gets him a second drink, ignoring the guy again.
.The guy, meanwhile has been asking for his drink very politely. He then decides to use the parrot's tactics and snarls at the stewardess, "You @#*$% hag, get me my bloody Scotch!" Suddenly a large co-pilot comes out of the cockpit and ejects both the guy and the parrot off the plane.
.As they're falling, the parrot turns to the guy and says, "You know, you're quite brave for someone who can't fly..."
hugs,kk